by Richard
This is a night best avoided if at all possible. I don’t mean the night itself, just the drunken, silly, stupid, drunken, obnoxious, swinging-from-the-naked-lights, drunken, hilarity of it all. It’s New Year’s Eve and, as the serious drunks are wont to say, it’s no night for amateurs. Leave the drinking to the professionals.
Yes, I know, seriously dark humor about far too many touchy topics. Eh. Deal.
Seriously, though, for a lot of people, New Year’s Eve represents a night where people give themselves permission to drink more than they’ve ever done before and really allow the obnoxious part of themselves free reign. Hey, it’s New Year’s Eve, everybody does it.
Well, I’m here to tell you, it’s not cool. Not nearly cool.
Sure we all want you to have a good time, but not too much, if you know what I mean.
No one wants drunken drivers infesting the road, although there will be far, far too many. No one wants to be trapped at a party by the drunken dude who can’t remember what he said 17 seconds ago, but still has an extremely important point about the nature of the universe to drool at you, if only you’d stop doubling up and he could get the spaghetti out of his mouth and talk normally.
Don’t be that dude.
If you’re going out there tonight, make sure you pick a designated driver. And make sure the designated driver is someone who will, actually, abstain from drinking. Or, if you don’t want to do that, pop for the cab fare. What’s cheaper: some cab fare of the lawyer’s bills and court costs and damage to your reputation with a DUI? I think we know the answer to that question.
Seriously. Be safe.
This is Richard, bidding you a fond farewell and saying good-bye to 2009. Here’s hoping 2010, the last year of the decade (don’t get me started), will be even better for all of us.
stepping down off soapbox for now
